Dating a Banker Anonymous – Embarrassing!

I can feel it – a firestorm is brewing over this morning’s NYTimes article “It’s the Economy, Girlfriend.” If you haven’t read it yet, I’ll fill you in.

A bunch of NYC ladies who all date (or dated) once economically stable men in the financial arena now blog and meet up “once or twice weekly for brunch or drinks” at upper class locations around the city (e.g.- Bowery Hotel) to share their woes. Note: if you already want to roll your eyes, just wait...

Let’s look at some of the highlights from the piece that got me so enraged this morning:

One woman, 26 year old Dawn Spinner Davis, a beauty writer says that ever since her husband lost his job and gave up his passion, golfing, things just haven’t been the same. She says, “It’s not what I signed up for.”

Dear Dawn, believe it or not, when you signed your marriage license you signed up to support your husband through good times and bad. Yes, your husband might be a little more anxious than he once was. Yes, you might now be the breadwinner. This is what marriage is all about – making it through the tough times TOGETHER.

“…her boyfriend told her to “grow up” and stop “complaining about vacations and dinner” since he had to “fire 20 people by the end of the week.””

Being forced to lay someone off is one of the most humanizing, guilt-laden, uncomfortable, unenviable tasks someone could ever be put through. Frankly, if my partner was complaining about vacations and dinners (both luxuries, not human rights), while I was dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of telling someone that they will no longer have a paycheck, I would probably freak out too!

The website that these women of leisure blog on uses the tagline -- “free from the scrutiny of feminists.”

‘Feminists’ seems to always have a negative connotation around it. It is not a negative word! These women, who clearly seem to be out of touch with the world around them don’t seem to understand the word either. Being a feminist means standing up for your rights as a woman – whether your rights are to vote, to be able to choose whether or not to have a baby, to be able to go to college.I can (for the sake of argument) say that these women are just standing up for their right to be financially taken care of and to be treated the way they feel they deserve.

The disconnect seems to be that the women of 'Dating a Banker Anon' see the emotional difficulties that their significant other is facing, they see how it negatively affects their “rights” and then they choose not to deal with it, but rather just talk about it.

That's where feminists and the women from 'Dating a Banker Anon' differ -- we don't just talk about the injustices we face, we DO something about it.

The Dating a Banker Anonymous web site says that this group is for all those women whose “Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life.”

Now, I realize the Bergdorf quote just might be in jest, but..

Dear Ladies of Dating a Banker Anonymous,

This recession is opening you up to the emotional hardships of being in a relationship. They are just that – hardships. You’re either going to have to support your significant other until times get better, or you’re going to have to take a cold hard look as yourselves and prioritize what’s more important to you – that Bergdorf allowance or the ‘relationship’ you had with the guy who funded your spending habits.